What if I’m not the joking type

Hello everyone! Today I felt like talking about something that has always been an issue for me and has negatively affected my self-confidence for as long as I can remember.

And that is that I’m not the joking type.

Even as a kid, I had a hard time reacting to people who were always joking around and didn’t quite fit the serious person category. I remember that when new people came to visit I used to hide in a corner or in another room in fear of them trying to break the ice, so to speak, with a silly joke that I wouldn’t even understand.

It’s not that I wasn’t smart or couldn’t appreciate a good joke, it was something deeper.

Okay, now we all have some distinctive personality trait that annoys the hell out of us but we can’t escape from and that for me is being unable to fake amusement.

I always tend to be more serious than amusing, especially when I meet new people or if I don’t feel comfortable with someone’s personality.


More often than not, I have been characterised by people as “polite but too reserved” and that’s something that has made it difficult for me to feel confident among a happy-go-lucky group of people. I know deep inside that most of my highschool peers had the same impression of me and that I wasn’t really hanging out with most of them for that reason. Even if I don’t regret those past awkward interactions, I am aware that they have followed me into adulthood for a reason.

The reason being that I slowly realised:

If you’re not the joking type, that doesn’t mean that you are not sociable!

I’m telling you right now that this type of subconscious guilt can eat up your self-confidence!

Don’t avoid going out with large groups of people and being part of fun activities.

I’ll share with you some things that have helped me out with coming to terms that I’m not a social butterfly:

girl with umbrella

I’ve had great and deep conversations on this subject with other people that consider themselves introverts

Those conversations resulted in forming an instant connection as we felt more comfortable with each other.

We ended up having a blast, cracking jokes about all sorts of random things

I had the biggest smile on my face all night long after that!

We were able to hang out with the most hilarious group of friends without feeling left out or unwanted.

Another pet peeve of mine

I hate when people aren’t being forward – If I can’t tell the difference between your jokes and your semi-truthful statements, there’s nothing in it for me! I will try to find someone else to communicate with.

Someone that works around my kind of social frequency!

So don't fall for those mind games!

Being uncomfortable with being the joker or responding to people’s jokes at random times, doesn’t mean that you are boring, monotonus or wearisum to be around. The sooner you accept that the better for your self-confidence!

So, have you ever felt bad about not being the joking type? Comment below and tell me your thoughts!

comment below

Talk to you soon,

what if I'm not the joking type?
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26 Comments on "What if I’m not the joking type"

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Emma Rollason

Brilliant post!! This really resonated with me, I hate large groups of people and meeting new people who I feel just wont understand me. When I’ve spoke to my friends about when we first met they all tell me how shy and awkward I was and how I didn’t really talk too much, but you’ve perfectly voiced exactly how I feel in those moments. Thanks for sharing.

Emma x



Wow, I really relate to this post!! I have the exact same issues with people when they make jokes too.

Laura Alejandra
While I can’t really identify with this post (I am the kind of person who will try to break the ice with a silly joke) I can identify with the part about people who are not being forward with their intentions. I knew this guy who would do and say anything to fit in… He’d say the mot overblown things and just ramble on and on and then after he finally stopped everyone would just stare at him speechless. It was painful to watch! It is my opinion that as long as you are nice to people and are genuine… Read more »

A really good post.
As a ‘joking type’, it was really interesting and eye-opening to see situations from a different point of view.

C | http://www.randomtangentblog.wordpress.com

April Michelle

I really do relate to this. I have been kind of been in between serious and joking. I am super shy if I am not comfortable with someone, and when I am really comfortable with someone…. I have a dry sense of humor. I love the way you wrote this article. Thanks for sharing

Rachel Sargent

This is a really interesting post!


A really insightful post 😊


This is a brilliant post! I related so much, I am really not one to joke about at all, I am quite shy and reserved until I really get to know people so I really understood this! Very very good X

elise // elssthinks.blogspot.co.uk

Hello Bexa

This is so interesting! I would say I’m way more jokey than I am serious but I do appreciate a deep conversation too. It all depends on my mood I guess. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it’s a great subject, personalities fascinate me! 💖 xx

Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com


I found this really interesting as I’m the opposite. 90% of what I say isn’t serious at all. I totally agree though it’s not something anyone should ever feel bad about if that’s not who they are naturally. You shouldn’t feel like you have to fake it either. x


Donald McKenzie

Great post. Being yourself is more important that trying to fit in based on some supposed important trait.

Michelle Gebert

Brilliant. I think it is important for people to realise we are all different. Some open up and joke easily some don’t and that is fine

Citrus and Cinnamon

This is a really interesting post! Thanks so much for sharing something so close to your heart.

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